We try to avoid it. We fear that it will be a part of our future. We give people who f*ck us over a million chances because of it. We settle for less than what we deserve because of it. Sh*t, we even throw our livelihood around and let randoms get a taste of our temples because of it. If this word burns a hole in your heart and it rules the decisions you make in life, then you know EXACTLY what we are talking about. L O N E L I N E S S.
You’re sitting at home on a Friday night, watching depressing love movies, eating a whole pack of Oreos, while scrolling on Instagram seeing everyone just got engaged, and suddenly all the soulmates in the world are taken, even your dog has scurried away into the next room! Then the walls cave in, your phone hasn’t went off in an hour and now you’re a loser and OHHHHH THE AGONY!!!!!!!
Okay, lover, now let’s gather our thoughts, and breathe deeeep deeeep breaths. Loneliness is an asshole, making you think that everyone on the outside is so happy together while you’re the only one who doesn’t get flowers every hour on the hour by Christian Grey, riding into the sunset every single night. We call some major bullsh*t!
There is this idea ingrained in our adolescent minds from the very start that we need someone else in our lives to be happy. That if you settle down and have a husband/wife/partner then your life is “complete”. Calling some big, fat, smelly bullsh*t on that one too! This kind of mentality forces us to settle for less and forces us to feel inadequate on quiet nights at home. Like, for whatever reason, we just will not be happy being on our own for one second.
Now, we’re not saying just be alone forever (if that’s your thing then, sh*t, go for it!), but we’re saying that you need to give yourself time to like, or simply just “be okay” with, being by yourself. It can get uncomfortable and feel awkward at times, but we all need it. This is where we find our magic. Where we try new things, where we do things we like to do without asking the opinion of someone else. These moments are important to our soul, and our growth. Take yourself out to eat, to the park, to a museum. Hang up that tapestry that everyone else thinks is too “witchy”. Do the things that make you, unapologetic-ally, YOU. Learn to fall in love with your beautiful self, dammit!
Quit letting society, your family, your friends, ,whoever the f*ck set your timeline. You do not have to get married as soon as you graduate college. You do not need to marry your high school sweetheart just because it’s “been so long”. (disclaimer: not saying NOT to marry your high school sweetheart, just saying make sure it’s coming from the right place). Finding yourself is sooo important in this life, and we often forget how much we need it. Not being secure with yourself can cause a hurricane down the road, whether you’re with someone now or for your future relationships. Trust us on this one, we’ve been through it…and it is HELL!
The real “L” word here, should be LOVE, not loneliness. Stepping out to be alone for a few minutes, months, years, however long, is important for your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. It is giving Love time to make its way in. The amount of time does not have a standard, just make sure you allow the Universe to work its magic in its own way. Let go of the control. Your self-love will radiate and shine bright so that others can see and feel it, and attract the right ones to surround you. So don’t fear loneliness. Even when it starts to creep up on you, fight back, don’t sit and have a drink with it. Don’t bring other people into your bed with it. And certainly don’t keep a toxic energy in your life with it. Let love filter out the negative, and flood in the beautiful. You deserve more than what you’ve been giving yourself. Face your fears with pure heart and soul, and the Universe will do the rest.
With love & light from all angles,